Korean Etiquette Guide: Culture, Manners & What Not to Do in Seoul 2025

Will you accidentally offend someone by doing something "normal" back home? Where do you take your shoes off? Why is everyone so quiet on the subway?

Korean culture has specific social rules that make daily life smoother — once you know them. Most locals will give tourists a pass on minor slip-ups, but knowing these customs helps you blend in and shows respect.

Here's everything: bowing, dining rules, drinking etiquette, age hierarchy, shoes-off situations, public transport manners, and the mistakes tourists make. Learn these basics and you'll navigate Seoul like you've been here before.

Why Korean Etiquette Matters

Reality check: Seoul is modern and international. You won't cause a scandal by not knowing every rule.

But here's why it helps:

• Locals appreciate effort: Even trying shows respect
• Smoother interactions: Servers, shopkeepers, strangers respond better
• Avoid awkward moments: Like sitting in priority seats on the subway
• Deeper connections: Koreans open up when they see you understand their culture

Insider Tip: Don't stress about being perfect. Koreans can tell you're a tourist — they just appreciate when you try. A small bow when saying thank you goes a long way.

Bowing: When & How to Do It

The Basics:

• Slight bow (15°): Casual greetings, saying hello/goodbye, thanking shopkeepers
• Deeper bow (30-45°): Showing respect to elders, apologies, formal situations
• Full bow (90°): Extreme gratitude, serious apologies (rare for tourists)

When to Bow:

• Entering/leaving shops (shopkeepers will bow to you)
• Saying hello/goodbye to anyone
• Thanking someone
• Making way for elders on the street
• Formal situations (meeting parents, business)

When NOT to Bow:

• Passing strangers on the street
• In casual cafes or international chains
• To friends your age (just wave/nod)

How to Bow:

• Stand straight, feet together
• Bend at waist (not just your head)
• Keep your hands at your sides or clasped in front
• Make brief eye contact, then look down as you bow
• Hold for 1 second, then stand up

Insider Tip: If someone bows to you first (like a cashier), bow back slightly. It's polite and automatic. You'll see locals do this hundreds of times a day without thinking.

Age Matters: Respect Your Elders

Korean society runs on Confucian values where age = respect. This affects everything from language to who eats first.

Why Age Matters:

• Koreans use different speech levels based on age
• Older people get priority: seating, food, speaking order
• Even one year difference changes social dynamics

How This Affects Tourists:

• Public Transport: Give up your seat for elders (anyone 60+, pregnant women, disabled)
• Dining: Let the oldest person at the table pick up chopsticks first
• Conversations: Use polite language with anyone older-looking
• Doorways: Elders enter/exit first

Priority Seats on Subway/Buses:

• Dark pink/purple seats near doors = reserved for elderly, pregnant, disabled
• NEVER sit here unless you qualify (even if empty)
• Koreans will judge you (and might ask you to move)
• Stand if all other seats are full

Insider Tip: When in doubt, just be extra polite to anyone older. Stand when they approach on buses, hold doors open, step aside on narrow sidewalks. Koreans notice this and appreciate it.

Shoes Off: Where & Why

Taking off shoes indoors is non-negotiable in Korea. It keeps homes clean and shows respect.

Where to Remove Shoes:

• Homes: Always, at the entrance (look for step up/shoe rack)
• Traditional restaurants: If you see a raised floor with cushions
• Hanok stays: Traditional Korean houses require shoes off
• Some cafes: Especially those with floor seating or rugs
• Jjimjilbang (saunas): Shoes off at entrance, wear provided slippers
• Some fitting rooms: If there's a carpet or sign

Where You Keep Shoes On:

• Regular restaurants with chairs/tables
• Cafes with regular seating
• Shops and malls
• Hotels (except when entering your room)

How to Do It:

• Look for shoe racks at entrance (dead giveaway)
• Watch locals — if they're removing shoes, you do too
• Line up shoes neatly facing outward
• Some places provide slippers — use them
• Socks should be clean (holes = embarrassing)

Insider Tip: Wear socks that don't have holes. Koreans care about this. Also wear shoes you can slip on/off easily — you'll be doing this multiple times a day if you eat at traditional restaurants.

Dining Etiquette: Table Manners That Matter

Korean dining culture has specific rules — especially if you're eating with locals or at traditional restaurants.

Before You Eat

Wait for the eldest to start:

• Oldest person picks up chopsticks first
• Don't touch your utensils until they do
• This shows respect and is deeply ingrained

How to hold chopsticks:

• Use your dominant hand only
• Hold them near the top (not the middle)
• Spoon for rice, chopsticks for side dishes

During the Meal

What NOT to Do (serious taboos):

• ❌ Never stick chopsticks upright in rice (resembles funeral ritual for deceased)
• ❌ Don't blow your nose at the table (leave the table if you must)
• ❌ Don't pick up your rice bowl (leave it on the table)
• ❌ Don't start eating before elders
• ❌ Don't mix chopsticks and spoon (use one at a time)

What TO Do:

• ✅ Use both hands when receiving/passing dishes
• ✅ Try all the banchan (side dishes)
• ✅ It's OK to make slurping sounds with noodles
• ✅ Share from communal plates (use your chopsticks directly — no separate serving utensils)
• ✅ Pace yourself with the group (don't finish way before others)

Finishing Your Meal:

• Place chopsticks neatly on the table or rest
• Don't stick them in rice or cross them
• Wait for eldest to finish before leaving table
• Say "잘 먹었습니다" (jal meogeotseumnida) = "I ate well" (thanks for the meal)

Who Pays?

In Korea, splitting bills is less common. Usually:

• Eldest or person who invited pays
• Groups take turns treating each other
• Birthday person gets treated (they don't pay)

If you're dining with Korean friends:

• Don't fight to split — it's awkward
• Say thank you and offer to pay next time
• "다음에 제가 살게요" (daeume jega salgeyo) = "I'll get it next time"

Insider Tip: If you're eating at a Korean BBQ restaurant, younger people usually grill the meat. If you're the youngest at the table, grab the tongs and start grilling — locals will appreciate you understanding this custom.

Drinking Culture: Rules You Need to Know

Korean drinking culture (called "술자리" - suljari) has strict etiquette. Follow these rules when drinking with Koreans:

Pouring Drinks

ALWAYS use both hands:

• Right hand holds bottle/glass
• Left hand supports your right arm or touches your chest
• This shows respect

Never pour for yourself:

• Wait for someone to fill your glass
• Immediately offer to fill theirs after
• Keep an eye on others' glasses and refill when low

When serving elders:

• Use both hands
• Cover the label on the bottle (optional but respectful)
• Pour slowly and carefully
• Slight bow while pouring

Receiving drinks:

• Hold glass with both hands
• Slight bow as they pour
• Thank them: "감사합니다" (gamsahamnida)

Drinking

The first shot:

• Everyone raises glasses together
• Make eye contact and say "건배!" (geonbae) = "Cheers!"
• Down the shot together (Korean drinking = fast)

When drinking with elders:

• Turn your head to the side when taking a sip (shows modesty)
• Cover your mouth with your hand
• Don't make direct eye contact while drinking

Saying no:

• Koreans insist multiple times when offering drinks
• Politely decline 2-3 times if you truly can't drink
• Place hand over your glass to show you're done
• Say "저는 됐어요" (jeoneun dwaesseoyo) = "I'm good"

Insider Tip: Korean drinking moves FAST. They'll do multiple "one-shots" (downing drinks in one go). Pace yourself. It's OK to leave your glass partially full to slow down — an empty glass will get refilled immediately.

Two-Handed Gestures: Show Respect

In Korea, using both hands when giving or receiving items shows respect — especially with elders or in formal situations.

When to Use Both Hands:

• Passing/receiving money
• Giving/receiving business cards
• Handing over gifts
• Pouring/receiving drinks
• Passing dishes at dinner
• Giving documents to officials

How to Do It:

• Best: Use both hands to hold the item
• Acceptable: Hold with right hand, left hand supports right elbow/wrist
• Casual: Among friends same age, one hand is OK

Receiving Items:

• Extend both hands
• Slight bow as you receive
• Say "감사합니다" (gamsahamnida) = "Thank you"

Business Cards:

• Receive with both hands
• Look at the card briefly (don't just pocket it)
• Comment on it ("Nice to meet you")
• Place it carefully on the table or in wallet

Insider Tip: Watch cashiers at convenience stores — they often use both hands or support their arm when giving change. Tourists stick out when they just grab change one-handed. Try using both hands back — cashiers notice and appreciate it.

Public Transport Etiquette

Seoul's subway and buses are quiet, orderly, and have unspoken rules. Follow these to avoid awkward stares:

Keep It Quiet:

• No loud talking
• Phone calls = major taboo (people will stare)
• Keep music/videos on headphones
• Speak in low voices even with friends

Priority Seating:

• Dark pink/purple seats = elderly, pregnant, disabled ONLY
• Don't sit here even if empty and train is packed
• Stand rather than take these seats
• If you sat by accident, stand up immediately if elder boards

Eating & Drinking:

• DON'T eat on public transport (major rule)
• DON'T drink (even water)
• Convenience store snacks = eat outside, not on train
• Coffee = drink before boarding

Other Rules:

• Let people exit before boarding
• Stand to the right on escalators (left side = walking lane)
• Backpacks: take them off and hold them during rush hour
• Don't block doors even if you're getting off soon
• Pregnant women get priority even if not showing — offer seat

Insider Tip: Seoul subway stations have designated waiting areas marked on the platform (usually with arrows). Stand to the SIDES of doors, not directly in front — that's where people exit. Locals queue up on the sides automatically.

Gift-Giving Customs

Koreans give gifts often — meeting parents, visiting someone's home, thank-yous, apologies. Here's how to do it right:

When to Give Gifts:

• Visiting someone's home (bring fruit, snacks, drinks)
• Meeting parents/family
• Saying thank you for help
• Returning from a trip (souvenirs for coworkers)
• Apologies (more common than you'd think)

What to Give:

• ✅ Fruit sets (expensive fruit is high-status in Korea)
• ✅ Packaged snacks/cookies
• ✅ Coffee/tea sets
• ✅ Alcohol (if you know they drink)
• ✅ Practical items from your country

What NOT to Give:

• ❌ Sets of 4 items (number 4 sounds like "death")
• ❌ Shoes (implies they'll walk away)
• ❌ Red writing/cards (names written in red = death)
• ❌ Knives/scissors (symbolizes cutting relationships)
• ❌ Cheap-looking gifts (Koreans value presentation)

How to Give Gifts:

• Use both hands when presenting
• Say something modest like "It's nothing special" (even if it's expensive)
• Koreans often refuse 2-3 times before accepting (keep insisting politely)
• Wrap it nicely (presentation matters)
• Don't expect them to open it in front of you (they usually wait)

Receiving Gifts:

• Receive with both hands
• Slight bow and say "감사합니다" (gamsahamnida)
• Don't open immediately unless they insist
• Thank them again later

Insider Tip: Department stores in Seoul sell beautifully packaged fruit sets starting around ₩30,000-50,000 ($23-38). These make perfect gifts when visiting someone's home. The fancier the packaging, the better.

Common Mistakes Tourists Make (and How to Avoid Them)

Mistake #1: Calling for servers by yelling "Excuse me!"

• ❌ Don't yell across the restaurant
• ✅ Press the call button on the table (most Korean restaurants have one)
• ✅ Or raise your hand and make eye contact

Mistake #2: Writing someone's name in red

• ❌ Red ink = death/funerals
• ✅ Use blue or black ink only

Mistake #3: Tipping servers

• ❌ Tipping can confuse or offend
• ✅ Just pay the bill — service is included

Mistake #4: Wearing revealing clothes to traditional sites

• ❌ Tank tops, short shorts at palaces/temples
• ✅ Dress modestly (covered shoulders, knees)

Mistake #5: Touching people you don't know well

• ❌ Hugs, kisses, shoulder pats (too intimate)
• ✅ Bow instead of hugging
• ✅ Handshakes OK in business settings

Mistake #6: Pointing with one finger

• ❌ Pointing with index finger = rude
• ✅ Use your whole hand (palm up) to gesture

Mistake #7: Blowing your nose loudly in public

• ❌ Honking into tissue at restaurant table
• ✅ Excuse yourself to bathroom
• ✅ Or turn away and be discreet

Insider Tip: The biggest mistake? Not trying at all. Koreans appreciate when tourists make an effort to follow customs, even if you mess up. A small bow and "감사합니다" (thank you) covers 80% of situations.

Essential Korean Phrases for Politeness

You don't need to be fluent, but these phrases show respect:

Basic Greetings:

• 안녕하세요 (annyeonghaseyo) = Hello
• 감사합니다 (gamsahamnida) = Thank you
• 죄송합니다 (joesonghamnida) = Sorry/Excuse me
• 안녕히 가세요 (annyeonghi gaseyo) = Goodbye (to person leaving)
• 안녕히 계세요 (annyeonghi gyeseyo) = Goodbye (to person staying)

Dining:

• 잘 먹겠습니다 (jal meokgetseumnida) = I will eat well (before meal)
• 잘 먹었습니다 (jal meogeotseumnida) = I ate well (after meal)
• 물 주세요 (mul juseyo) = Water please
• 계산이요 (gyesaniryo) = Check please (but use call button)

Shopping:

• 이거 주세요 (igeo juseyo) = This one please
• 얼마예요? (eolmayeyo) = How much?
• 포장 주세요 (pojang juseyo) = To-go please
• 봉투 주세요 (bongtu juseyo) = Bag please

Useful:

• 네 (ne) = Yes
• 아니요 (aniyo) = No
• 괜찮아요 (gwaenchanayo) = It's OK / I'm OK
• 도와주세요 (dowajuseyo) = Help me please

The Magic Phrase:

• 저는 외국인이에요 (jeoneun oegugin-ieyo) = "I'm a foreigner"
• Use this when you're confused — Koreans will immediately switch to simpler Korean or try English

Insider Tip: Master "감사합니다" (gamsahamnida - thank you) and use it CONSTANTLY. Say it to cashiers, servers, subway staff, anyone who helps. Combine with a slight bow and you've mastered 90% of Korean politeness.

Quick Reference: Etiquette Cheat Sheet

DO:

• ✅ Bow when greeting/thanking
• ✅ Remove shoes indoors (watch for cues)
• ✅ Use both hands for giving/receiving
• ✅ Wait for elders to eat first
• ✅ Stay quiet on public transport
• ✅ Give up seats to elderly
• ✅ Turn away when drinking with elders
• ✅ Let people exit trains before boarding
• ✅ Try speaking basic Korean phrases

DON'T:

• ❌ Stick chopsticks upright in rice
• ❌ Sit in priority seats on subway
• ❌ Eat or drink on public transport
• ❌ Pour your own drinks
• ❌ Write names in red ink
• ❌ Give sets of 4 items as gifts
• ❌ Blow nose loudly at table
• ❌ Tip at restaurants
• ❌ Wear shoes indoors

What If You Make a Mistake?

Don't panic. Koreans understand you're a tourist.

If you mess up:

1. Apologize: "죄송합니다" (joesonghamnida)
2. Slight bow
3. Correct your behavior
4. Move on

Most locals will find it endearing that you tried. The effort matters more than perfection.

Insider Tip: Carry this guide on your phone. Before eating with Koreans or visiting someone's home, review the relevant section. A quick reminder makes the difference between awkward and smooth.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Do I really need to bow all the time?

A: Not ALL the time, but more than you'd think. Quick slight bows (15°) when:

• Entering/leaving shops
• Thanking shopkeepers/servers
• Greeting anyone
• Saying sorry

Deep bows reserved for formal situations or serious apologies. Watch locals — you'll see constant small bows in daily interactions.

Q: What if I forget and pick up my chopsticks before the eldest person?

A: Just apologize quickly ("죄송합니다!"), put them down, and wait. No big deal. Koreans dining with tourists expect some mistakes.

Q: Is it rude to refuse food or drinks?

A: Koreans will insist 2-3 times when offering food/drinks. It's polite to decline once or twice before accepting. But if you truly can't (allergies, alcohol intolerance), firm but polite refusal is OK. Put your hand over the glass/plate and say "저는 못 먹어요" (jeoneun mot meogeoyo) = "I can't eat this."

Q: Can I sit in the pink seats on the subway if NO elderly people are on the train?

A: Technically yes if train is empty, but stand up IMMEDIATELY if any elderly person boards. Better to just avoid these seats entirely to prevent awkwardness.

Q: Do I need to bring gifts when visiting someone's home?

A: YES. Never visit empty-handed. Bring:

• Fruit set (buy at department store)
• Packaged snacks/cookies
• Nice coffee/tea
• Alcohol if you know they drink

Value the packaging as much as the item inside — presentation matters in Korea.

Q: Is it true I shouldn't write anyone's name in red?

A: Yes. Red ink is traditionally used for writing names of the deceased. Use any color except red (black or blue is safest).

Q: What if someone tries to pour me another drink but I'm done drinking?

A: Cover your glass with your hand and politely say "저는 됐어요" (jeoneun dwaesseoyo) = "I'm done." They'll insist 1-2 more times — keep declining politely. Or leave a full glass in front of you (empty glass gets refilled automatically).

Q: Do these rules apply at international restaurants like McDonald's or Starbucks?

A: Less strictly. International chains in Seoul are more casual. But basic courtesy (thanking staff with "감사합니다," not being loud) still appreciated.

Q: Is it offensive if I don't follow all these rules perfectly?

A: No. Koreans give tourists a pass on most cultural rules. The effort to TRY is what matters. A small bow + "감사합니다" covers you in 90% of situations. Don't stress about perfection.

Remember: Korean etiquette is about showing respect through small gestures. You won't offend anyone by being a polite, considerate tourist. When in doubt, watch what locals do and copy them.

Most importantly — Koreans appreciate when you try. Even if you mess up the bow or use the wrong phrase, the effort shows you care about their culture. That's what really matters.

Now get out there and navigate Seoul like a respectful local. You've got this.